Resisting sexisms, aggression, and burnout in academic leadership: surviving in the gendered managerial academy

How is it possible to survive as a woman senior leader in the gendered managerial academy? In this autoethnographical article, I illustrate the lived reality, insecurity and struggle of academic leadership. Drawing from three vignettes, I discuss decision-making processes, blatant sexist aggressions, and the problematic negation of affect and personal life. Their critical contribution is to expose the consequences of gendered managerialism in the neo-liberal academy and the false promise of ‘leadership’, in which women continue to experience gender challenges, sexism, and the risk of burnout in their everyday experiences. However, I also show how it is possible to counter the detrimental effects of gendered managerialism through four forms of resistance: resistance through embodied affective authenticity; resistance through solidarities and social relations with others; resistance through feminist activism; and resistance by stepping back.