Sharing a home, but not a family: The unspoken stories of cohabiting with divorced partners and their children

This paper reflects on the experiences of two women cohabiting with heterosexual partners who have children from previous marriages. Using duoethnography, we explore the challenges and possibilities of sustaining relationships and managing shared spaces in these complex family structures. Through a queer theoretical lens, we examine how non-traditional family arrangements disrupt conventional gender roles and challenge nuclear family ideals. Unlike formalized stepfamily roles, cohabiting women occupy ambiguous positions, resisting societal caregiving expectations and rigid stepparent identities—dynamics that influence their personal and professional lives. Our findings contribute to stepfamily literature by centering the perspectives of cohabiting women, revealing how their roles remain fluid and continuously negotiated rather than predetermined. In doing so, we challenge the assumption that women in stepfamilies must inevitably adopt maternal roles. Ultimately, we advocate for broader recognition of diverse family forms and for social and organizational policies that better accommodate the complexities of contemporary relational arrangements.