Writing against the grain: Towards rehearsing refusal-in/as-action

Thinking. Writing. Pausing. Remembering. Refusing. Silence. Triggering. Breathing.
Try again. (Re)think. (Re)turn. Insist.
To write. To testify. To refuse.
Here, I write.
In refusal of discipline that disciplines alterity of ‘hideous’ Black/Brown bodies to discipline racial colonial order.
In refusal to be acculturated, tainted, straightened, an aberration to be de-re-formed, transformed by Whiteness .
In refusal of silence that strategically trade safe(l)ty, even when harms and violence are left unacknowledged.
Rehearsing. Refusal-in/as-action.
Against readily accepted assumptions of post-race post-colonial university.
Against fulsome praise and white gaze of supremacists’ ideologies.
Against silence that reinscribes white patriarchal coloniality.
Against inclusively oppressive structures that demean and annihilate, where difference is tolerated if/as only concealed, aesthetically fabricated, bestowing a fantasised and idealised glory of Whiteness.